Victoria's Secret

That’s right. Today I am talking about underwear. Ladies, when choosing a new- Oops! That’s for my *other* blog.

Today I am talking about Victoria Dahl. And a couple of secrets are involved but they’re not all Victoria’s. But some are at the end!! Maybe... Well*bites lip* mainly I just like the title.

Did you guys know that I love Victoria Dahl? Did you know that I think she’s amazingly talented and should be given awards every morning just for being so awesome? No? Well now you do!*g* I know I’ve been very close mouthed about this. I never review her books. I NEVER mention her on the blog. And I never under any circumstances recommend her books in everyday conversation. Don’t tell, but I even avoid her on Twitter.(Wouldn’t you think that after blocking someone 12 times they’d give up? It’s sad...*snort*)

But seriously, the “secrets” I refer to in my blog title today are the ones that the hero and heroine are carrying in this book. Interesting and painful though they are, this story is still heart warming.

What book am I referring to? One Week As Lovers. Dahl’s third and best historical(each one that comes out is the “best” for me until the next release).

I read this book a couple of weeks ago and since then have been composing a review for it. It’s difficult for me to communicate the sheer amount of beauty, for lack of a better word, that is present in this book without giving a spoiler or making this the blog that never ends.(PS: Always hated “This Is The Song That Never Ends.” So, obviously, I want to avoid any correlation at all costs.lol.)

You may think my language barrier is the fault of the book. You ask, How frigging craptastic must this book be? It took her that long to pick out the things she actually liked and turn them from sickeningly sour lemons to lemonade?(PS: Chances are you are more intelligent than I am and either came up with different verbiage or had completely different questions from the above. But in the confines of my own mind*cough* I mean blog post, I decide what everyone thinks and says.*g*)

The reason it took me so long(other than length)? Well, it’s hard to attach words to the reason.

Have you ever had an experience with a book that completely grabs you, compels you, and rips you to shreds all at the same time? Ever read a book that shocked and delighted you in equal measure? Ever been emotionally drained and just needed time to recover? Needed time to soak it all in? I felt all of these things(suddenly nervous that I found yet another way that I am creepy, whacked-out, and weird.lol). And after experiencing such a visceral thing, every time I sat to write this review my mind blanked except for big sparkly words like “Amazing!” “Wow!“ and, of course, “shazam!”*g* And I can’t very well write a review that is nothing but slobbery jumbled words fueled by hero-worship and maybe that pot of coffee I drink everyday. Then there’s the problem(and it’s a duty I take seriously) that I have to keep my review from spoiler bombs. I mean, we all know how much I *heart* spoilers but I respect those of you that hate them.

Okay, all of that said(written?), I am going to start my completely unworthy and inadequate review.(Dear, Ms. Dahl, this will come nowhere near to expressing my love for you and the book. Am saddened. PS:I wanted to use your initials rather than “Ms.Dahl”(ex. EJ, JQ,LK, etc.) but VD cracks me up way too much. lol. Also is inappropriate. Will focus now. Sorry.)

Where to begin? Oh, I know:

Lancaster.

Just our hero’s name but am positive it constitutes an entire sentence. Maybe a poem. But definitely not haiku. Two out of three isn’t bad.*g*

Lancaster is that hot blonde boy you sat behind in algebra class in high school. He was always making people laugh and making all the girls sigh. He’s untouchable no matter if he’s dating a girl or not. You will never have him. And if you think he’s flirting with YOU it’s easily brushed off- he does this with all the girls but (yay) is not a man-slut. A great sense of humor is grand. Being sigh inducing is commendable. But a vacuous head beneath all that spoils the whole package. But this guy is actually very good at algebra and would gladly tutor you. He also has stormy depths in his eyes making you think his humor might be masking secrets. Something dark. Deep. Untouchable. But at the very same time irresistible.

Then there’s Cynthia. Heroine extraordinaire(Dahl writes the best heroines on the planet!). Lovely, brilliant, wonderful Cynthia. It would be very, very easy for a heroine to get swallowed up with a hero like Lancaster present. It could easily be one of those novels where you remember the hero in all his stunning glory but do things like forget the heroine’s name or use words like “TSTL” or “one dimensional” “pale in comparison” to describe them. And sometimes you get this paragon of virtue that you simply don’t relate to(or at least I can’t relate to them) that absolves the hero of any sins and darkness. Cynthia is strong and is actively working for a better life. And is masquerading as a ghost in Lancaster’s country home. The one that he grew up in. The one that Cyn and he had been fast friends at as children. The one where the staff consists of about one servant-a servant that loves you so much and is aiding you. The one he left behind suddenly and mysteriously years ago and never returned to.

“What is her masquerade for?” you ask. Well, this is where we get into a little darkness but there is a cute pay off(as far as the ghost goes. NOT the villain part). Cyn is betrothed to the most evil super villain on the planet- or at least she “was” betrothed to him...when she was alive.

Um, you still with me?

She fakes her death and hides out at Lancaster’s country estate, and it just so happens to be at a time that Lancaster decides to return for some alone time before his impending nuptials. Since he hasn’t been back, as previously mentioned, in YEARS she never anticipated her plans going awry.

So, what does our intrepid heroine do? Pretends to be a ghost to scare him off. Duh.

Okay, after saying that, I want to acknowledge the huge pink elephant(or is it a white elephant? Purple?) in the room. This book could have gone really, really wrong. Could’ve been horrific. That is to say, it could have been a cheesy, melodramatic, completely ridiculous story(pretending to be a ghost? Um, a treasure hunt?). And this is where I qualify that. Victoria Dahl is a master. A virtuoso. The crème de la crème of the writing world. She is what I go back for in her books. Her characters grip and hold me. Her prose kills me with envy.

So, could this book have been bad? Yes. Was it? OMG, no! I would say that if you have a friend that wants to start reading romance, give her/him this book. I can’t say that this book is a great romance. No, it IS romance. It lives and breathes it and you get to feel it too. Only the best of the best writers can ever achieve this.

Another thing that I love about Dahl’s characters is that she never sugarcoats them. You get a raw, living, breathing human all up in your grill(do people still use that expression?*g* Mer and Steph will know). And she takes stories that are iconic and lovely tropes and turns them on their ear. But I don’t want to say more about this book because I don’t want to ruin ANYTHING. And there’s one laugh out loud scene with the heroine that my fingers are itching to type but it will spoil the joke if I write it. Damn fingers!

You need to read this book. Seriously. N-E-E-D! It will make you healthier and your vision will improve exponentially with each reread. Some even suggest it puts little blue pills*wink,wink* to shame.

Have you read it? Will you? You better not make me come over there and force you. Kidding...maybe.