Two weeks ago I turned 25. I'm in the midst of that quarter-life crisis (what have I done with my life, where am I going, what have I missed, what is yet to come?) and I had a realization. I don't have to be peppy, excited, and optimistic at all times. I just don't. And that goes for my writing as well so I am going to make a confession.I am SICK of my novel.
It's somewhat cathartic to get it out there. My secret hope is for saying it aloud to somehow get me back to that feeling of not being sick of it.
I guess I should explain.
It's no secret that I suffer from lack of butt-in-chair. Poor writing discipline plagues me. That feeling hasn't gone away yet now I have the "sick to death" variety along with the usual "I'm so lazy and so ashamed" variety. And I think the two really feed into each other. I have been plugging along at a WIP for years now. At least three. Possibly four or more if I'm really, really honest. My own laziness yoked me to this novel for much longer than I'd anticipated and now that I'm in this position I just want to throw my hands up and cry out in defeat. During the past four years I haven't let my mind stray to new ideas and all I can think about is doing just that. The thought of trying something new, hell, just thinking about something new, is like the distant lake in the desert of my writing despair.*
Have I learned a lot in this journey? Yes. Do I still have a lot of things to figure out? Yes. There is no doubt in my mind that I'll be back at the old novel at some point, but for now I'm moving on and getting excited about something new because I need it.
I'm lifting my margarita to the first new beginning I've had since I started on this writing journey and most importantly dedicating my birthday wishes to and committing to putting this new excitement on the page. Cheers!
*That may have been a tad dramatic.
5 comments:
Sounds like a brave step. I don't know that I could walk away from something I'd been working on for that long.
Wishing you luck with your new adventures.
There's nothing wrong with setting it aside and moving one. A new adventure can rekindle that edge that sparked you to write in the first place. I can totally relate. Really.
I've only been writing for two years, but hammered out a horrible first novel. Finally realized unless I re-wrote the entire thing it would never go anywhere. So I put it aside, have finished a second and half of another story.
I'm currently frustrated with my query and synopsis, yet must get those done in order to submit. Grrr... roller-coaster ride.
See, others understand. Best of luck to you.
Thanks for the support! It feels so right to finally be doing this and funneling my energy into something new.
Sheri - I dread the query/synopsis stage but I know you'll get through it!
Belated Happy Birthday! Speaking as someone who's published somewhere around 100 books over 28 years, I agree that some stories just need to be put away and allowed to either simmer, or perhaps finally be put out of their misery. (I wrote nine entire novels before I sold. Although I probably could have sold one or two later, I'd gotten a lot better and look at those hundreds of thousands of words as necessary practice.)
I also had a book in the 90s that took me five years to figure out. And that was between lots of other books. So, congrats on making a tough decision. And enjoy the margarita and the moving on!
Wow, celebs are hanging out there. Nice. *waves to Ms. Ross*
You and I have been in the same boat and you know I let me WIP go in order to move on with something new. I had to. There was just no way around it.
The good news is, this one has stuck. I'm about 50 or so pages away from a final first draft. I just started this book with Nano in November and had a meager 100 pages to show for the first four months.
But I'm living proof that it can be done. The procrastination and lack of butt-in-chair can be beat. A little determination and a good story along with some fun plotting is what worked for me.
I know you can do it. Congrats on moving forward and I can't wait to give you birthday hugs in person. Several months late. :)
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